I can't wait to fall in love with you; You can't wait to fall in love with me; This just can't be summer love, you'll see

With March came more rain, grey and clouds. I was honestly a little worried that this summer wouldn’t hold the same promise that the last two have managed to find.

Part of me was worried as it’s been a bumpy year that maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Maybe there’s just too much stress, too much other things to do to bother with a fun, silly list. There were deadlines to meet, new jobs to prep for, money issues, future plans to make. How could I find the time to manage a little to-do list on top of that?

However, that silly little to-do list had become important to me. I loved the feeling of accomplishment, of having something that was purely my own and afforded me the luxury to do whatever the hell I wanted—often things I had been putting off or were too afraid to do. This was about pushing myself in odd little ways, often things that had a spirit of adventure or were personal bucket list things that I thought could be accomplished in a summer rather than a life time.

I discussed the list with friends, I tried to come up with ideas and each time I really tried it became harder and harder to form a list. I could barely reach item number four, let alone ten or fifteen things. Anxiety and worry became the bookends to any attempt at a thought in regards to this.

Day after day brought more rain, clouds and greyness and my spirits dampened right along with the rest of Vancouver’s. Summer felt so far away.

However, per usual, I was jumping the gun. These last few days have been beautiful, sunny with a hint of a breeze, bringing the promise of long nights, sticky sweet drinks, outdoor concerts, cute sundresses, tans, sunglasses…

Everything I always want summer to be.

So without further ado, my summer to-do list, a list that felt shockingly easy after a long day of window shopping and bbq on Commercial Drive and a list that just fell into place as soon as I let the idea slip my mind.

Typical.

1. Sing at Karaoke

Okay, yeah I’ll admit it, this probably won’t be done sober.

Also don’t worry. I’m not thinking I’m the next Adele. I don’t think I’ll be discovered by some sort of talent agent who apparently sits around in seedy bars looking for the next big thing? I can’t sing worth shit. G actually has a lovely video of me drunkingly singing as proof of this—and I’m sure for some form of blackmail for when/if I ever get money.

However, I figured this is just another weird but effective way to get myself out there. It’ll be a way to learn to not be afraid of making a fool out of myself or to be able to laugh at myself. I can kind of be a little too uptight or serious, especially when it comes to my “self-image” but I need to stop caring what people –may- think and just have some fun. Who the hell cares what they think anyways?

2. Fire a gun

I guess this is just one of those things that you don’t really think of your everyday Joe being able to do. Sure, it’s easy enough to get your hands on a gun to shoot it (or, so they say… maybe that’s just America?) but it’s not exactly something that a lot of people—or at least the people that run in my circles, can say that they’ve done.

Plus I think it’d be kinda bad-ass Sydney Bristow type of thing to do.

3. Wear suspenders

Okay, yeah. I get it. It sounds weird. However, this is a fashion challenge. My first!

Inspired by fashion blogs, I’ve been feeling like I should put a bit more effort to be fashion forward and think more of just putting on t-shirt and jeans. There have been plenty of different trends that over the years I’ve wanted to adopt but never had the courage or monetary means to really achieve such a look. Suspenders have been one of those things.

Now here’s the twist.

This is also a fitness challenge.

In order to achieve the suspenders look, I’d need to be able to tuck in my top to my pants and be comfortable with how my body looks in such a look. For my entire life—or at least since I started caring about my looks so I guess since high school? I’ve been very self-conscious about my body but especially my stomach. It’s my biggest weakness. I gain weight there the fastest and I also lose weight off of it the slowest. Suffice to say, it’s my biggest hurdle.

Gasp! I know. Two challenges in one mere pair of suspenders? It’s a tricksy one.

4. Learn to throw a punch

I guess this is just something I figure every girl should know.

Again, I also want to feel like a bit of a bad ass.

5. Learn to ride a bike

I know I’m one of those people who never learned how to ride a bike. My childhood was a wreck! I grew up in the wild with monkeys! Or, or maybe I was just afraid of bikes and had no balance. People have tried to teach me in the past but it never ended well.

I’m not always the most patient of students…

Anyways, I figured that at 23/24, it’s about time that I learn how to do what most third graders know how to do. Maybe I’ll also Phoebe this up and get some rather snazzy pink streamers for it too!

6. Try a new food

Growing up, I was a pretty picky eater. However, since being a little older and having friends with more diverse palates than I have, I’ve been able to open myself and my taste buds to other foods. For the most part it turns out for the better, jellyfish, oysters, lobster, duck, lamb… yeah, so far it’s all been good. I want to continue the trend and explore a little more of what the world has to offer.

7. Wear a set of garters and thigh highs

Again, another thing I’ve always wanted to do/wear. I’ve just never really had the self-confidence to try it out.

8. Smoke a cigar

I won’t lie. My dream is to kinda be like Robin Scherbatsky from HIMYM.

It’s a homage to one of my heroes in life.  

9. Spend one day without technology

I’m sure I’ve bitched before about how I’ve allowed  technology to overrun my life and that for the most part I have a bit of a compulsion to answer text messages whenever I see them, or to check my e-mail, facebook, twitter more than periodically.

While yes, it can sometime be the main contact with The Boy and a lot of my friends as we have a rather wide variety of schedules, it doesn’t need to feel like some sort of twisted addiction. This is an attempt to distance myself further from the pulls that technology offers.

10. Go skinny dipping

I was always the “good” girl, the girl who wouldn’t do anything stupid or silly or be adventurous. Part of me wants to break out of that shell. No, not really in that Rhianna, good girl gone bad type of way. I’m not going to be that extreme. It’s just that I want to be able to do something stupid or silly and just let loose for once.  

11. Finish G’s sweater

For his birthday I promised I’d make a sweater for G. It’s already April and I have yet to complete a single piece of the present.

Part of it is obviously the fact that it’s a gift. He’s been lovely and understanding and patiently waiting for it but it’s already going to take long enough once I get started, I should probably just get my ass in gear. The other part is that while I know how to knit and have been knitting since grade school, this is the first time I’ve used a pattern with two colours. It’s a little out of my league to say the least.

12. Get a tattoo

Yeah, this is here from last year. Still hasn’t happened.

13. Do the Grouse Grind

Again, there’s another dual reason for a goal. This time it’s partially because I want to be able to test my fitness level (once it gets back up there as the month off after surgery has taken its toll on my body) and partially because it’d be nice to get out of the city and do something different with my weekend.

Most of my weekends are spent somewhere in the city. Whether it’s Vancouver, Burnaby, Downtown, Yaletown, New West, Port Moody… it’s always surrounded by metal, brick, cement and traffic. While I was never born a nature girl, it’d be nice to get away from it all and see some green.

14. Learn to take a flattering photo

I hate how I look in photos. I’m unsure if it’s because I’m extremely un-photogenic  or if it’s simply because I’m not always one-hundred—hell, I’m hardly fifty percent comfortable with how I look on a day to day basis and I figure that pictures just seem to freeze this aspect more so.

I’m hoping it’s mostly because I can’t take a good picture.

15. Be more positive about the future

This is a bit of a cheat. It’s actually a challenge from R who thinks I’m way too negative about my relationships and the future of said relationships.

This is mostly because I have a tendency to tack on “if we’re still together” to the end of any sentence that has plans that are more than a month away. It’s a habit that drives a lot of people around me nuts. I may tease boyfriends about their lack of commitment but it tends to be me, rather than them, that is afraid of the future and a future together.

So in exchange for a challenge of her own, she challenged me to be more positive about the future. She’s really impressed with The Boy and wants things to last between us. Therefore, I’ve been forced to shun my regular reaction to plans (hide, deflect, bitch about) and smile and say ‘Yes dear’ or even, dare I say it?

Make plans of my own.